The other day, I decided to do some computer maintenance. To make a long story really short, I started pressing buttons, blowing past warnings about my actions being “irreversible,” and – voila! – accidentally wiped everything from my desktop.
When it happened, I tried not to panic. I have a long and storied history of losing 100+ page documents on the eve of due dates, and my pristine desktop gave me that same, sinking feeling. I married someone who is better at more respectful of technology than me, so I knew there was a good chance he had backed up some of it . . . but still, I found myself aggressively petting the dog, eating chocolate, and yanking at my hair.
In short, I felt a little out of control.
I’m almost 40, and if I’ve learned anything so far . . . it is that I usually control a lot less than I think I do. The truth is: just about anytime I think I’ve got something handled or planned or figured out, life throws a curve ball. Initially the curve balls almost always seem bad (like losing my desktop files), but even the things that are the worst and the hardest to comprehend radiate good . . . eventually.
Let me give you a relevant example:
A year ago, I was in a terrible collision that caused a brain injury. The brain injury dramatically altered how I was able to focus and write. Previously, I wrote a great deal of weighty, non-fiction material.
Post-car accident, I don’t have the stamina to write this anymore. When I try, it typically wears me out for a few days . . . so especially in the current reality of having three kids home 24/7, I had to adjust.
In early April, I came across a picture book manuscript I had written 4-5 years ago, and I realized I still really liked it. I sent it off to my literary agent for her thoughts. She made a few suggestions, including that I prepare a few more manuscripts to send off in packet form with the first. I spent many of my weekends in the spring and summer getting that ready, making a really big push the past few weeks. A week and a half ago, I finally sent her my first “packet” of three picture books to send to potential publishers.
Will anything material come of all this effort?
I honestly don’t know. But – back to the control issues – I’ve learned that while I can’t control much of the publication side of things, I can continue to work on the craft, expose myself to more art, and enjoy the ride. I find writing for children to be a lot of fun and a great way to bond with my kids (who are incredibly tough critics!), so that’s the blessing of the day and the current positive that came out of the car accident. I’ve found a new way to experience joy and a new “audience” to connect with.
In Romans 8:28, Paul wrote: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I have to admit that on days like the day my computer files disappeared, I sometimes find chocolate to be a more tangible comfort than the Bible. But – when I am able to take a deep breath, put the chocolate down, and meditate on scripture like this one, I find ample evidence in my own life that God’s word is true and that good things are just around the corner.
So, I wonder:
How have you experienced good from something “bad” that was outside of your control?
Let me know in the comments!
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