A week ago, I got news from a friend that someone in our home church passed away unexpectedly. He was set to marry our friend last Saturday, and he was the son of the beloved doctor who delivered my third son. In addition, he was a beautiful part of our church experience each week. He was on the ministry staff, and – though I didn’t know him well – I appreciated his presence and what it meant to the people I loved so much.
Grief is a wild and rippley thing, and it sometimes rushes into our path when we least expect it. Though I knew the man who passed only a little, I felt the ground under my feet give way a bit as grief swept through my life. He was family to people who have treated me like family, and my heart cried out in protest at all the world had just lost. How could it be?, I wondered. And then, a little angry, How could it be!
As I tossed and turned the night before his funeral – the night that should have been his wedding night, I asked God for some wisdom – for something to make sense of this tragedy, for some evidence that His hand was providing for those closest to the loss. All night, my mind kept drifting to scripture from the creation story:
. . .In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth.
I didn’t know what the creation story had to do with what I was praying for, but the next morning as I got dressed for church and prayed for my friends – I reluctantly pulled up Genesis 1. I read the first two verses:
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
I read these words, and then I re-read them. “[D]arkness was over the surface of the deep, and the spirit of God was hovering over the waters . . .” where else had I read about God’s spirit hovering? I did a quick google word search, and quickly found Luke 1:35 (MSG):
“The angel answered [Mary], The Holy Spirit will come upon you, the power of the Highest hover over you; Therefore, the child you bring to birth will be called Holy, Son of God.”
And then wasn’t there something about the Holy Spirit resting on the disciples at Pentecost after Jesus’ ascension? I flipped to Acts 2:2-4, and there I read:
2Suddenly a sound like a mighty rushing wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3They saw tongues like flames of a fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.…
So perhaps you are wondering where I am going with this, and why the goose-chase through scriptures? Let me explain.
I love patterns, and I love how everything God does on a universal level repeats through nature, through history, and through the microscopic intricacies of our hearts. I look for these patterns because they remind me that science can be a holy discipline, describing and uncovering evidence of a great designer. I look for these patterns because they remind me that when my heart experiences winter, spring is coming. I look for these patterns because they remind me that there is something so much bigger than me and all that I can see in this sliver of time.
So when I read last Sunday morning that God hovered over the earth when it was formless and empty, when darkness covered everything, my heart leapt within me. You see, in my tossing and turning on Saturday night – I was so consumed with the depth of my friends’ grief that I had forgotten, momentarily, who God is. I had forgotten that since the beginning of time He has been hovering over the dark places, the forgotten places, the empty places, slowly exhaling a masterful design for new and abundant life. I had forgotten how he hovers over bleak places in history, how he hovers over bleak hearts, and how he hovers over you and me.
There is so much I don’t understand about creation, so much I don’t understand about the Holy Spirit, and so much I don’t understand about deep suffering. I don’t know why the earth was formless and void in the beginning. I don’t know how God filled an empty womb. I don’t know how he lets his spirit rest upon me, and I don’t know how He continually reaps beauty and life from things that seem too sin-stained and horrid to touch. All I know is that He does these things, and every aspect of nature and every season of my life eventually shows me that this is true.
Dear friends, I know so many of us are grieving – some in the most profound of ways. As you continue through this journey, I pray that you take a deep breath and remember that God has always hovered over the places that feel dark and formless, and I know even now, He hovers over you.
Ecclesiastes 3:11: “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
Angie Miller says
Beautiful, Melissa. Love and prayers.
Melissa Lu says
Thank you so much. My heart is still so broken for my friends. What a hard loss!
Jim says
Great words of comfort. Thanks for sharing.
Melissa Lu says
Thanks Jim. Have been praying for you two!
E Strickland says
Hello Melissa.
I graduated from Pinewood in 1977 w Angie Smith Miller..Your identification of patterns, and published words regarding patterns in the Bible resonates w me. I have seen the evidence of God and angels hovering over my life and my family’s life for as long as I can remember. I am particularly fond of tbe repetitive phrase, “Fear not’.
Thank you for writing this article and sharing it with all of us.
Liz Strickland
Melissa Lu says
I went to a children’s science museum in Nashville with my children a few months ago and saw a video about fractals – and this whole idea of repeating patterns. It was something that I had thought about a lot in terms of my faith prior to watching the video, and I thought about how interesting that was. The layered design of of world is so amazing. I am so glad you have had your experiences. I think we perhaps do not talk enough about matters of faith like they are a real thing. One of the most influential experiences I had was joining a church where people spoke openly about their faith and the things they had observed and experienced. It made me feel more courageous about my own.
Helen Whitmire says
Melissa Lu, I don’t know you, but thank you for listening to the voice of God and for sharing His insights. God is so good to me, though I don’t always recognize or acknowledge it… He is still God, hoovering, waiting. Praise His Holy Name
Donna NeSmith says
Beautiful words, such a blessing for anyone who grieves! You are definitely blessed to be able to write this way and share with others! Love you!
Melissa Lu says
Love you too, Donna! I feel like God has let me chew on this for a few days. The blessing is really for me, because writing helps me work out things that I’m often afraid to think about head on. I often feel like God gives me the words and then I understand what he was trying to say all along.
Melissa Lu says
I certainly don’t acknowledge it like I should either, Helen! And yet, still he loves us. Still he is there.
Pam says
Beautiful insightful words of truth. Having lost a child, I do appreciate the reminder of God’s hovering in the deep and dark places of our lives. Thank you for your post.
Melissa Lu says
I am so sorry, Pam. So sorry. I truly cannot imagine the depth of that, though I have certainly thought about it over the past few days. It seems so unfair to me that the man who delivered my son should lose his. And it seems unfair that you have lost yours too. I cannot understand such things, but thank God that one day there will be no more tears and no more death.
Betty Holtzclaw says
Melissa you are so good with words and scripture. Thanks for easing the pain.
Melissa Lu says
It’s been hard for everyone, I know.
Tammy Gold says
Such a beautiful reminder that in our sorrow God is surrounding us with His presence.
Melissa Lu says
Yes, but oh how I wish we could bypass the sorrow – especially in a case like this!
Grace says
So very meaningful. Those who know this precious doctor and his family can be comforted by this post, just as the memorial service brought unity, tears, laughter and yes, even joy, because we have a future and a hope in Christ.
Melissa Lu says
Thank you. It is nice to think that it might bring some comfort. I woke up sad about it again last night. I suppose that is a testament to all the love all of these people have shown me!
E. C. Strickland says
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and prayers it has been a challenging time for the entire Church Staff. A time of loss and grief for his family and our entire church family.
The Memorial service was special I told my wife that it felt more like an old fashion Revival service than a Memorial service.